graduation and future things

 

 Can you guess what I did this weekend? Oh yeah! I graduated magna cum laude with my BA in English and Theological Studies! That's what! This was a day five long years in the making. And it was a great day, indeed. A few highlights of the day:

• I forgot to bring my camera. Hence the sad cell phone photos. 
• We had forty-something graduates this year. Which is a lot when you consider how small my alma mater is.
• I managed not to trip while walking across the stage.
• All of the ladies had to pin their collars into their gowns. Mine was very, very crooked.
• I broke my honor cord and my shoe right before we lined up for the processional. 
• I only cried like...twice.
• My dad gave the invocation, which I amazingly didn't cry at.
• Alberto Gonzales, the former US Attorney General, gave the commencement address. It was fantastic. This also brought the number of Attorneys General I have been in the same room with up to two.
• It doesn't matter what the weather is like leading up to graduation, or what it's like after--it's always insanely hot and humid. This year stayed true to form. Which was fun, considering I was wearing seventeen layers of black.

After the ceremony, my dad took my sister and I out to lunch at a seafood place on the river. My sister got me gluten free cupcakes from Vegan Vee, and they were the best cupcakes I've ever had--no lie. I'm not sure if Vegan Vee is that amazing or if I was just excited to be done with college and eating cake! 

Oh, here's a picture of my dad and mom being all cute after his graduation from our alma mater. 

So what's next? I've been asked that a lot lately. I already have a fantastic job that uses my degree, so I'm doing great in that regard. I am considering grad school, though if I do go, I probably won't enroll for a year or so. I'm looking at local colleges and online programs. I'm trying to decide between an MFA in Creative Writing, or an MA in English. There are pros and cons to each!

My more immediate plans include second shooting for and assisting a wedding photographer here in Nashville. That's going to keep me busy the next several weeks.

Oh, and I'm leaving for Northern Ireland in a month! I'm going on a music mission trip with my church. I'm so incredibly excited! Now, if only I can get all of my funds raised before our deadline in a week. I have faith that God will provide. He always does! :)

I'll be posting around here a lot more, now that life is finally starting to settle down some.

xo,

Katy

time has not touched it

 

 Though time may wear down wood and metal, I refuse to let it change my memories. They can be immortalized in ink and paper, in bytes of data. 

When I think of "home" my mind wanders down wooded paths to my family's tiny cabin, nestled in the Ozark Mountains. It would take about a twenty-minute drive in any direction to reach any sort of civilization. The parcel of land was given to my family by a very close friend. My dad designed and built the cabin himself (with some help from my grandpa, mom, and siblings, of course).

We would spend countless hours at the cabin. In the summer, we'd take a picnic, sit on the back porch, and sketch. In the fall, we'd spend every Thanksgiving here. We'd go down the night before, eat soup, play trivial pursuit, and read old copies of National Geographic. The next day, our extended family would pile in. There was no parade-watching or football. Only family and the woods around us. 

I remember dad hunting here. I remember hiking to the far ridge with my brother. I remember popping over to the closest cabin to visit with old friends. I remember my mother decorating with fresh-cut evergreen, filling the entire cabin with the fresh scent of winter.

I remember.

My sister and I went down last Wednesday, the five-year anniversary of my mother's death. Her presence lingers at the cabin. An old and faded evergreen arrangement, turned brown by the passage of time; an old coffee grinder placed carefully on the shelf; dried wax from candles long gone on the mantle. Each was a remnant of her. Each a reminder that this had once been her habitat. 

We stood in the kitchen and cried. As much as you try to convince yourself that you've moved on, grief finds those quiet moments and makes itself at home. 

I'm thankful for the time I spent with my family this last week. We all have a shared grief that binds us together, perhaps more than the common blood in our veins.

xo,

Katy

the words always come

I don't write poetry much, not really. My emotions are better expressed through prose or pictures. But there are some events in my life that I feel must be immortalized in some kind of verse. It's been five years. Today, I finally found the words for that exact moment.

And finally, in one quiet shudder,
The November wind has blown out
The one kind flame that sought to heal so many ills. 

A sterile death is an expected one.
Each minute a dagger to the hope of life. 

xo,
Katy

that time i had an art show

 

As a young girl, I never even thought to dream that one day I would host an art show. Sure, I loved art. When I wasn't pestering my father with ridiculous questions or writing, I was drawing. My mother was an artist, and taught me the fundamentals of sketching at a young age. I fell in love with art. It has always been, and will always be, an integral part of who I am.

Of course, I'm no Picasso. I never dreamed anyone would want to look at my art, let alone pay for it. Back over the summer, the art director at Rocketown asked me if I'd be interested in hosting an art show. (She heard about me from a friend and took a peek at my work on Facebook.) I was ecstatic! We tried booking the show on multiple occasions, with each one falling through. I eventually forgot about the opportunity, and hoped that some day I might find some other form of exposure for my art.

In December, I got a message from Kayla, the director. They wanted to book me again! This time, things fell into place. I was able to get six pieces together before my opening date. I was nervous: so much so that I dropped every single piece of artwork into a puddle on the way into the building. (A near meltdown ensued.) I was sure no one was going to show up, and no one was going to like my art. It was going to be like that episode of The Office where Pam hosts an art show. (You know the one. I know you do.)

To my relief, over twenty of my closest friends and family stopped by. Many of them stayed for the entirety of the two hour reception. I sold two pieces (which, apparently, set a record for an opening night!). I have never felt so loved and blessed as I did that night. The outpouring of love and support I was given astounded me. My face hurt from smiling. I am so blessed to have been given this opportunity. God knew I needed it. He always provides.

If you're interested in visiting, my art is up until January 27th. All of the proceeds will go toward the mission trip I'm taking to Spain and Morocco in a month and a half. Believe me, I need all the funds I can get for that! :) If you don't live in the Nashville area, take a look at my online store. All of the money I'm making from it will go toward my trip as well.

xo,
Katy

thoughts on life at the moment

 It's funny how unfamiliar places can sometimes feel like home. Even though I'd never seen this house or laid in this bed until today, I'm totally at ease. Maybe it's because we ate pepper steak for dinner. I haven't eaten that since my mom passed. That one familiar food brought me back to her. And instead of sadness, for the first time in a long time, missing her brought joy.

I'm so thankful Thanksgiving break is here. I've been sick with a bad case of pneumonia for almost a week now. I managed to get out of bed yesterday and come with my sister and her husband to his parent's house. It's nice here. Peaceful. There's time for me to rest and procrastinate even longer on reading Last of the Mohicans. 

Thanksgiving is still hard. It might be even harder this year than it has been the past three, due to circumstances that I must keep to myself. My sister and I were talking about it earlier. Instead of just grieving one day, we must grieve two--the actual date my sweet mom passed (November 27) and the holiday on which she passed (Thanksgiving). Just keep my family in your prayers. This isn't an easy time for us. But I'm thankful for the healing another year will bring.

It's funny how when life grows heavier in some areas, others grow exponentially lighter. God has placed some really incredible friends in my life for this season, and I am so incredibly thankful.

 

xo,

Katy

July 1971

 

"In sickness and in health"
Was more than just a promise.
You showed it to your children,
And taught them to be honest.
Now they don't go a day
Without saying the words
"I love you." 

november blue

 

So here's what's up with life at the moment:

First off, I've been a giant bundle of stress lately. I seriously have a problem with telling people "no." Thanks to this character flaw, I've ended up with entirely too much on my plate. I hardly have time to do the things I have to do, let alone the things I want to do. Thankfully, there are four weeks left in this semester. I'm really going to cut back on my commitments next semester so I can actually get the rest I need to function. I'm tired of pulling myself together and scrapping up enough energy to get through the day. I want to live. 

November is tough month for me. If you've been around here a while, you know this already. Super thanks to those of you who've been praying for me. I've been doing okay thus far...I've only had my reoccurring dream once, and only one random breakdown. It's hard to believe my sweet mom has been gone almost four years. I miss her like crazy.

Lately I've been trying to plan out my future. Instead of worrying about the things I have to do today I've been worrying about the things that might happen twenty years from now. Life just can't be lived that way. It isn't possible. Christ has given us hope for tomorrow, but He's also given us hope for right now. I've stopped stressing over what might happen, and have instead been asking myself what's the next, best thing I can do? 

My hair is long enough to wear in topknot. Squee!

I voted for the first time last week. I have peace about whatever happens tonight. 

Finally, I found out a couple of days ago that I'll be going to Spain and Morocco this spring! I can't begin to tell you how excited I am that God has given me this opportunity. Pray for our team, the missionaries, and funds. I know God will provide, and I can't wait to see what He is going to do!

I leave you with this:





so,
Katy

time of the season

Grey streets lined with the ancient bones
Of houses built so long ago.
Trees in the middle tinged with red
Leaves falling down upon my head.
Fall wind whips at my tangled hair,
October--sometimes too much to bear.
I see you slim frame walk along
The same paths my hands have drawn
In the shakiness of unmet grief--
Each thought captured by a falling leaf.
My mind sees this scene each night before
I lay my head upon my pillow. 
I would love nothing more
Than to hear you say hello.

xo,
Katy

what i wore ---> floral pants

 

 I went to the mall last week to get a massage because my back was killing me and I didn't have time to go to the chiropractor. That ended up being a terrible idea, because they pretty much murdered my back. It still hurts, and that was days ago. All whining aside, I'd been trying to find a pair of floral pants for a few months, but had yet to find any I really liked. On a whim, I went into Aeropostale. I never shop there, as it's usually way too preppy for my taste. But there they were. The pants. AND they were on sale. I had no intention of spending any money, but I just couldn't pass these up. :)

This shirt was my mom's. It's a bit big on me (though I'm not sure how it fit her, as we we're about the same size!) but I love it. It's so her. And the color is so sweet. :)

I wore the pants (with a different shirt) to see Dark Knight Rises. I felt fancy. ;) That movie was great, by the way. I'm going to go see it again this week. Then I'll decide if I like it or Dark Knight better. I'm torn at the moment. I loooooooove me some Christian Bale. ;)

Have a lovely week! Make this Monday memorable!
xo,
Katy

Now Playing----> Somewhere Over the Rainbow- The Piano Guys

short hair don't care?

I really can't believe I went six months without a haircut. That's probably nothing to you long-haired gals, but those with short hair will understand. Short hair loses its shape so quickly. It's less maintenance on a day-to-day basis, though.


 

I was stuck between growing my hair out and chopping it into a pixie again. I finally went with my old standby--the bob. My mom had my long, thick, tomboy hair cut into a bob when I was around eight or so. I've had short hair ever since, usually some variation of the bob. I really like this cut. A sweet girl from my church cut it, and did a fantastic job! My head feels so much lighter. Now I just have to wait for the sunburn on my head to heal and I can dye my hair. ;)


 

This is an awkward picture, but I wanted to share it. Though my eyes usually appear brown or black, they're actually amber colored. Fun stuff.

I hope your weekends are lovely! I'm headed to the mall to procrastinate. I have a paper due at midnight. ;)

xo,
Katy

leap-day ramblings

1. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. -John 1:4-5 I've been reading the book of John for my New Testament: Gospels and Acts class. It's always been my favorite Gospel, probably because of its theological nature. It doesn't just tell about the life of Jesus, it answers the question why. Why did He come? Why did He do the things He did? John seeks to answer these questions. As the disciple closest to Jesus--as well as writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit--I think John was equipped to answer those questions. I've read that verse many times, but it jumped out at me. Lately, darkness has permeated my life. There hasn't been much light to speak of. Depression has covered me, and I've been on the verge of despondence. After I read those verses, I realized I really don't possess a light of my own. I am just a vessel, my light is Christ's. Because I am His, the darkness cannot overcome me. It might feel suffocating. I might feel as though there is no way out, but it cannot beat me, because it cannot beat Christ. He has obliterated darkness. There is no shadow.

2. One of the things that has been fueling my depression is my health. I've been quite sick for a month now. The best they can figure, it's just a severe sinus infection. I'm on my third round of antibiotics. They finally ran some blood tests yesterday, so I'm waiting on the results from that. I've just been exhausted. Not the I-just-need-a-good-night's-rest kind of exhaustion, but the I just want to go to sleep and not wake up because living is too hard like this kind. We have mid-terms this week, but then we're on Spring Break, so I can sleep all I want to. Thank goodness.

3. I had a long talk tonight with two friends who have both lost a parent to illness. It was interesting to compare our experiences, and see how each of us is in a different stage of the grieving process. I've been missing my mom a lot lately, so it was good to just talk it out. I thank God for giving me that conversation.

4. A couple other bits of encouragement that God has sent my way...someone told my dad the other day that I have an indomitable spirit. I was having a bit of a breakdown that day, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I just felt the need to mark that down, because it's likely I'll forget that word and compliment.

5. I'm also very sad to hear about Davy Jones' death. I've always been a huge fan of The Monkees. My mom and I used to sing their songs together. If you get the chance, listen to "Last Train to Clarksville." It's by far my favorite song. 

6. Pray for the residents of southwest Missouri (where I'm originally from) especially those that live in Branson and Lebanon (I used to live there...) They were hit pretty hard by tornadoes last night. There have been casualties and the damage is pretty bad.

xo,
Katy

my mom, the artist

I come from a very artistic and musical family. My dad has played in many folk and bluegrass groups. He's also owned a recording studio and used to make pottery. My mom was a teacher, a cook, an interior designer, a florist, as well as an artist. She was an excellent sketcher, but her paintings were absolutely beautiful.

I was out rummaging through our garage today (because that's my idea of fun...) and I found a few of her paintings. Most of these are from the late 60s/ early 70s, which means she would have been around my age. Young and fun and newly married. I'm so much like her. (Just kidding. I'm not married.)

She's the one who taught me to draw. We would spend hours outside drawing whatever we could think of. She also got me really interested in painting. I think that foundation in art really helps me when it comes to photography and graphic design. 

Well, I'm off to a haunted corn maze with my best friend and a bunch of her college friends that I've never met. Oh fun!

xo,
Katy