Friday, November 25, 2011

bare trees

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Bare trees:
stripped, naked, cold.
Most despise you.
"What good is a bare tree?"
They say,
Not knowing that you hear them.

You lift your sturdy arms in despair.
"Clothe me!" You cry.
The dark, winter sky stretches out around you
Like a blanket, cold and brooding.

Unlike the evergreens,
Who hold their secrets behind their sharp, green needles,
You are transparent and vulnerable.
Secrets?
You have none.
Your bark is bare for all to see.

Your cry is heard.
Slowly, softly, snow begins to fall
And clothes you in its sparkling presence.
You take comfort in its cold cover,
So you lift your branches with joy.
 -December 16, 2010

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There isn't much better than a solitary walk through the woods, camera in hand.

xo,
Katy

Thursday, November 24, 2011

today was happy

My mom passed away three years ago on Thanksgiving. Sunday will mark that day. Still, today is hard. Because my mind keeps going back to that cold, miserable day spent in a hospital waiting room, unshowered, in two-day old clothes. We had Thanksgiving dinner at Shoney's that year. She knew it was Thanksgiving. She tried her best to make it through the day. She made it to 3:30.

Still, I tried my hardest to have a good day today. (The mourning will come on Sunday) I think I succeeded, by the grace of God. Thank you to all of my friends that sent me sweet texts and messages letting me know that you love me and are praying. Thank you.


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Yesterday, my family and I went down to our cabin nestled in Mushman Hollow.

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I love the country. It's quiet. The air is fresh and there is room to think. I love it. We used to spend every Thanksgiving at the cabin. Those are some of my sweetest memories with my family.

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I cajoled my dear old dad into taking a few pictures of me. He's actually a pretty great photographer. He's the one that gave me my first camera.

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I got tangled in the briars. Someone please tell me why people think it's cute to name tea rooms and gift shops "The Briar Patch"? If you've been stuck in a briar patch, it's pretty painful. Not exactly something I'd want to associate with my business. ANYWAY.

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I'm so thankful for my family. We had a family reunion today in lieu of a traditional dinner. Then, we went out and shot skeet. I actually hit one. Woo!

I hope everyone had a wonderful day.

God is good.
xo,
Katy

Sunday, November 20, 2011

afternoons in the garden

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Yesterday was a good day. I woke up at 12:45; went to starbucks with my roommate for their BOGO deal on Christmas drinks; laid in the garden on a blanket, read, drew, and took pictures; went to Belmont with some good friends to see the a cappella group, the Beltones, perform.

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I needed a laid-back day after how crazy this past week was with school. Thank goodness Thanksgiving break starts Tuesday!

How were your weekends?
xo,
Katy

Friday, November 18, 2011

Hello, Friday!

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Abigail at Rear Window is hosting a blog party!

My name is Katherine Victoria, but I go by Katy. I introduce every blog I've ever written about myself like that. I'm an almost twenty-year old college student in the great city of Nashville. I'm working on my Bachelor of Arts in English and Theological Studies. I'm minoring in music. I plan on pursing graduate studies in the future. God has called me overseas. I don't know where yet, but I'm willing to go wherever.

I blog because it's who I am. I've always been a writer. Before I could even hold a pen and paper, I was making up stories. I have a weird way of looking at the world. Writing is just a natural extension of who I am.

I have short hair and brown eyes. I'm gangly and a little quirky.


Let's get down to the nitty gritty:

1} What's the nerdiest/geekiest/weirdest thing about you?

I'm obsessed with Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Doctor Who, and Monty Python. I realize those are the "cool" nerdy things to like, but I grew up on them. The first two books I ever read on my own were The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; and The Hobbit. The first movie I ever saw was Episode IV of Star Wars.
2} If you could live in a fictional universe from any book, movie, or television show, what would it be?
It would be a tough choice between Narnia and the Shire.
3} Little or big, practical or frivolous, what is one of your favorite items in your house?
My "Keep Calm and Carry On" art. Or my lion statue.
4} Do you like animated movies? If so, what is your favorite?
Anything Pixar! Beauty and the Beast, and Despicable Me.
6} What's your favorite thing to get at Starbucks (or your favorite coffee shop)?
Starbucks: decaf iced caramel macchaito. Fido's: decaf local latte.  (Caffeine tears my stomach up!)
7} What is your favorite pizza topping?
Bacon and pineapple. Bacon as in REAL bacon, not that Canadian stuff, which is really ham.
9} Do you like to play games? If so, what is your favorite?
Apples to Apples!
11} Have you ever dyed your hair?
My hair has been every color possible. Blonde, brunette, red. I've had blue, pink, orange, purple, red streaks.
13} Picasso or Norman Rockwell?
Norman Rockwell. My mother wrote a letter to him once. He sent her once back. It's like our family heirloom.
14} Do you like carpet, tile, or hardwood floors?
Hardwood floors make me swoon.
16} What's your favorite condiment?
Pepper and vinegar and barbeque sauce and mustard. That's really all you need. Ketchup ruins food.
18} What was the last thing that made you laugh?
I laugh at everything. I was told today that I laugh too much. :)
19} Think fast...what's the first song that pops into your head?
There, There Katie- Jack's Mannequin.

I hope you link up here!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

existence

I do not wish to exist outside of Christ.

You come to the point where you grow weary in being lukewarm. You cannot stand mediocrity. Your heart, your mind, your soul cries out to God for a greater sense of love. A stronger passion driven by the desire to know the God of the universe on a personal and intimate level.

We have that option. Our God is not made of stone, or wood, or any kind of corruptible, mailable element. He is above all. Our minds cannot even fathom His great majesty, and yet...He came to us. Yahweh, who could command the universe into existence by the plan of His mighty will, came to us. He took on the form of a lowly human, born into a crude stable full of filthy animals and refuse, and became one of us. He was blameless, upright, and holy. And yet He came to us. He also died. For us. For you. For me. He knew that two thousand years into the future a girl named Katy would be born. That she would be imperfect and sinful. That she would ignore Him, disappoint Him. And yet, He gave His final, perfect breath for her. For me. 

And yet I doubt? I despair? Why? Why should I worry when God, in his majesty and transcendence and holiness, loves me? Lowly me? 

I do not wish to exist outside of Christ, for in Him, I am no longer nothing, but something because of His great love.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

paper season

I'm going to make a radical statement: paper season is worse than finals. 

I love to write. I love to research. But everything is due this week. Everything. I should be researching my New Testament paper right now, but the library is closed on Sundays, and I don't happen to have a commentary on Ephesians around anywhere. I have to pick about five verses or so from Romans-Revelation and write an eight page paper on them. I've written a grand total of zero. But hey, I have part of my research on historical context done, so I'm not completely behind.

Because everyone cares about that paper, right? Did I mention my computer also downloaded a malicious virus? I was going to take a nap, but it looks like my afternoon will be full of virus removal. Thankfully, I'm a nerd and have a back up laptop.

All of this explains why I haven't blogged at all lately. I've been too hair brained and stressed out to even function properly.

I've had a very clumsy week. Wouldn't you like to hear about that? I thought so.

First off, we played society volleyball on Wednesday. I played on a team for three years in middle school and high school, so I got to play quite a bit. Unfortunately I hurt my wrist because I hadn't played in so long. On Friday, I decided it would be a good idea to ride a tandem bike. I fell off and bruised my left knee and my right foot. Last night, my sister had a bonfire. An ember flew up and hit me in the back of my head, singeing off a nickel sized patch of my hair. (Thankfully, I have thick hair so you can't see it.) Then I jammed my finger on my steering wheel getting into my car. (Now that takes talent.)

I was going to wear high heels to church this morning, but decided against it. I don't need a sprained ankle as well. :)

Despite all of the papers and tests and clumsiness, it was a decent week. God has been speaking to me a lot lately. He's really been reaffirming my call to the mission field. I have a lot of praying to do.
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I look like a vampire in this picture.
I've been listening to this a lot. Its lovely.





It's probably one of my favorite hymns. This arrangement is beautiful.

xo,
Katy

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Life Goes On.

This path you're on--
I don't agree--
But you'll have nothing
To do with me.

I never fully
Said my piece
But I'll keep quiet,
I'll stay at ease.

I made my choice
And you made yours.
I'm so very thankful
God closed that door.



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Just a quick post to say that I'm still here! My life is changing dramatically for the better.

Basically, life goes on. Sometimes you have to let go of the things you think you want, to make room for the things that God knows you need.

Why plan out your own life, when you can't see more than a few feet ahead of the now? When the One who designed you has a perfect plan for your life? Sometimes, we just act ridiculous. 

xo,
Katy

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

keep your head up

Here you are, November, my old friend.
It’s been a year, and you’ve come back again.
Your cold wind blows and knocks persistent on my door.
Pushing me out, laid flat upon the floor.

I’ll lay here a while to appease your vicious heart;
I’ll let the tears fall down and tear my mind apart.
While sobs rack my body I’ll let the cold creep in,
I’ll let my memory wander paths where my feet have been.

But just like her, I’ll lift up my weary head;
I’ll wipe my tears and sit upon my bed.
My eyes look up, beyond what I can see.
Though I am sad, alone I will not be.

Your place in my life is sore and often missed.
I have these hands that you would hold and kiss.
With every leaf that crunches underneath my feet
I’m moving away from that day, and forward to when we’ll meet.

Again.


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I thank you all for your support. And though I did cry once, today was actually okay. I'm trying not to dread what's to come, but focus on the wonderful woman that my mom was. She changed so many lives, and I've decided to focus on her legacy rather than my loss of her.

I have been listening to this song all day. It makes me feel hopeful.



Anyway, I'm looking forward to a fantastic weekend. :)

The LORD will hold me close. Psalm 27.

xo,
Katy 

you can't erase it

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I had been asking too many questions. I have always been an inquisitive person, but this was different. It wasn't mere curiosity that caused me to persist with my questioning, but an absolute need for answers.

My dad took me out on our sun porch. The wicker couch was rough under my legs; the sun was warm on my hands, wrung with worry.

It's cancer. 

That's all I needed to know. I distinctly remember the wind blowing against my cheek and knowing that this was a moment that would forever be buried in my memory. 

It's hard to believe that she passed away a little over three weeks later. I don't remember much about those three weeks, except fear. And the foreboding feeling that my life was about to change.

It's been three years today since I heard those words. Time has healed nothing.

I miss you, mom.

We do not grieve as those who have no hope.
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