Thursday, March 31, 2011

Presence

I feel you near.
In the clouds, in the air.
Your voice calls out to me.


I see you there.
In the sun, yes, everywhere.
I know you're watching me.


I hear your voice.
On the wind, by my choice.
Your sweet melody for me.

I've been missing my mom a lot lately. I'm just at that point in life when I could really use her opinion. Her love. Her advice. Her support.

She was my best friend. 

It's weird being here at college, because she was a student here her Freshman and Sophomore years. Knowing that she walked the same halls I walk, slept in the same place I sleep, sat in the garden where I sit...it's a comfort of sorts. Yes, it hurts at times. I look through old yearbooks and see her beautiful face, so carefree, so happy. The burden of sickness did not darken her countenance yet.

I joined the society she was a part of in her memory. I think she's proud, and I know it makes her smile.

I love to spend time in the music building. It was a residence hall her first year here. I feel especially close to her there. Every time I'm in the room that would have been her room, I feel a strange peace. (And I'm in there a lot.)

Her presence lingers here.

Not in a ghostly sort of way, no, I know she's in Heaven. (Besides, we all know ghosts don't exist.)
I can't really explain it, nor do I care to. But it's there.

She was a beautiful woman.

A picture of my mom at the age of 17. I was 17 when I took this photo.

100 Facts

Don't feel inclined to read this post. This is mostly a list for myself. So in a few years I can look back and see how I've changed. There are,  however, a few random, interesting tidbits about myself. And there will be pretty pictures to look at at the end of all this. (I hate double words like that. 'at at.' it's so awkward.) So, carry on. 


100. My full name is Katherine Victoria. I was named after two dead queens. I know, I know. That's not weird at all...

99. My natural hair color is almost dark grey. Hence the reason I dye it. I am not a natural blonde.

98. My favorite color is green, but I'm rather fond of blue.

97. I'm 5'5 3/4". I tell everyone I'm 5'6".

96. I have munchkin sized feet.

95. I'm not so great at math. I much prefer english and history.

94. Lately, I've been known as the photographer, but my first passion was/is music.

93. Followed by writing, photography, drawing/painting, drama. In that order.

92. I've played the piano for 12 years now.

91. And despite the fact that I am a Church Music major, I have yet to take my piano proficiency test, because I'm really bad at scales. And I'm terrified of failing.

90. My favorite composers are Chopin, Rachmaninoff, Mozart and Bach.

89. As a general rule, I strongly dislike Beethoven.

88. My college is super small. I think our student body is around...300 people this year? I'm not certain. Regardless, it's a great school and we're nationally recognized.

87. I'm obsessed with sweet tea, specifically sweet peach tea from Sonic. With extra ice, please!

86. I have a terrible addiction to eating ice. I literally crave it. They've tried linking it to various medical conditions.

85. I've been sick since 2007. They've diagnosed with me Graves' Disease and anemia, but they still haven't gotten to the bottom of everything.

84. I have a sister: Jessica, and a brother: Thad. Jess is 18 years older than I, Thad is 14 years older.

83. I have three nephews (10, 7, 2) and one niece (4 months.)

82. My mom was a school teacher/florist/artist/interior decorator/author. She passed away from peritoneal cancer on November 27, 2008.

81. My dad is a pastor/magazine editor/author/musician. He was in the hospital for five months this summer.

80. I'll be leaving the US once I finish graduate school. I'll be working with Wycliffe Bible Translators as an Arts Specialist. :)

79. I really should be doing laundry and practicing the piano right now. I'm supposed to practice five hours a week...and I'm nearly out of clean clothes.

78. I'm a very shy person. It's hard for me to open up to people. I don't make friends easily, because I feel like I'm just too weird to have much in common with others.

77. But if you do become my friend, I will be fiercely loyal to you, regardless of whether you stab me in the back or not.

76. I've won a couple national writing contests.

75. I've never had an actual sunburn. I tan very easily.

74. I'm Swiss-French and English on my dad's side of the family; English and Cherokee on my mom's.

73. I have an awesome boyfriend. We've been together for over a year and a half now, despite the fact that we've never lived closer than three hours from each other.

72. I have OCD. No, seriously.

71. Germaphobe.

70. I love Hot & Spicy Cheez-Its. I currently have two nearly full boxes and one empty one in my room.

69. I'm currently reading Immanuel's Veins by Ted Dekker and Eusebius: The Church History. I'm also reading The Horse and His Boy by C. S. Lewis for about the 500th time.

65. My favorite books are The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Space Trilogy, and The Chronicles of Narnia. The first two are obviously by Tolkien, the last two are clearly by Lewis.


64. My favorite book in the Old Testament is Ecclesiastes, and my favorites in the New are Ephesians and James.

63. I've had relatively short hair since I was 8 years old

62. Mumford and Son's music inspires me.

61. Speaking of music, I adore folk music. But I also love classical, indie, punk, celtic punk, hardcore, pretty much any alternative genre, some electronica, ska, etc, etc, etc.

60. My boyfriend and I have "bands of the month." I don't have one for April yet. I'm still browsing around. I think it's going to be Emery.

59. I love to read. read. read. read. I'd rather own a book than check one out from the library. Because 1.) I'm a germaphobe (as previously mentioned). I don't like people touching things I have to touch. and 2.) My books become close friends. I don't want to give them back. Thankfully my dear dad has a huge personal library. I mean HUGE. It's mostly Bible commentary and other religious books, but he has a lot of fiction, especially science fiction and fantasy, thrown in.

58. My favorite movies consist of: The Princess Bride, Star Wars (original trilogy), Pride and Prejudice, Becoming Jane, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, all of the Narnia movies, anything Tim Burton, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Oh, and as far as recent movies are concerned, I love love love Inception. 

57. I'm mostly deaf in my right ear. We've yet to find out why. People often think I'm ignoring them, but I honestly just can't hear. It's super annoying, and if I could change anything about myself, that would be near the top of the list.


56. I have some interesting scars. A couple are form bad burns, one from a nail, and another from a tube I had put in my lung as a baby.

55. I'm the only person in my family with brown eyes.

54. I have a bit of a coffee addiction. I have to drink decaf though, because caffeine makes me sick.

53. My favorite foods are bacon and cheese. I talk about how much I love those foods constantly.

52. I'm terribly unorganized.

51. Sometimes, I just like to dress up. On days when I'm feeling sick (which is about 6 days out of the week), it helps me feel...normal. Like I'm worth something.

50. I'm the chef in my school's upcoming production of the musical Cinderella. Yes, there is a chef in Cinderella. But it's a very minor roll, which I am just fine with.

49. I'm always thirsty. There are currently seven cups sitting around my bed. From: sonic, mcdonald's (2), panera, chiptotle, starbucks, and a random Duke cup with water in it.

48. Oh by the way, I'm terribly obsessed with Duke basketball. Forreal. Go Blue Devils!

47. My clothes never match.

46. I love all the smells that are dangerous: gasoline, permanent markers, exhaust fumes. Why do things that are so bad for you have to smell so good?

45. My favorite healthy scent is cotton. It smells like clean laundry!

44. I greatly enjoy road trips!

43. Random adventures with friends make me smile! And trust me, we go on a lot of them.

42. I own many, many owl things. I adore owls.

41. I've had a number of people tell me I am a hipster. I. Am. Not. A. Hipster.

40. I love mint chocolate chip ice cream.


39. I love racing. Rally racing and drag racing are my favorites! NASCAR, however,  makes me want to sleep.

38. When I was little, I wanted to be a meteorologist. I still love watching the weather.

37. I've always been kind of obsessed with politics. I love listening to political commentary on talk radio. My personal policies are very conservative, but I consider myself an independent.

36. I'm really having trouble getting behind the "go green" movement. I think that we should be responsible with what God has given us, but I also believe that society is taking things way too far.

35. I'm very opinionated, but I tend to keep said opinions to myself.

34. My personality types: Melancholic-Sanguine. or INFP.

33. "Keep calm and carry on" is by far my favorite trend.

32. I love Toms and Converse.

31. My blog title came from a Mumford and Son's song. I miss my sanguine eyes, so hold my hands up. Breathe in, breathe out. 

30. Lately, I've found a lot of comfort in Psalms 142 and 143.

29. I love love love thunderstorms. I hate hate hate tornadoes!

28. I love Julian Smith's videos.

27. Sometimes, I wish I lived in the 1960's. Jackie O = incredible woman.

26. I wish I could wear thrifted/vintage clothes. But once again...I'm a germaphobe.

25. My fingernails on my left hand are currently painted pale sparkly green. I never got around to painting the nails on my right hand. Sadly, this happens nearly every time I go to paint my nails.

24. I've never attended a public school in my life. I've gone to two different Christian schools, and I homeschooled for two years in middle school.

23. My Christmas tree is still up in my room at home.

22. I have to go play handbells in about 30 minutes.

21. I don't think I have many sour tastebuds...or something. Because I can eat ridiculously sour things, and it doesn't bother me. When I was little I liked to gross people out by drinking vinegar. (I was an odd child.)

20. I've been writing stories since I was little. My mom was like my scribe, since I couldn't exactly write yet.

19. I knew my ABCs at the age of two.

18. I really want to join Mensa...but I don't think my IQ is high enough.

17. As a child I played basketball, t-ball, did gymnastics and ballet, and was a cheerleader. I also played volleyball in middle school and my freshman year of high school.

16. I was a total tomboy as a kid. I loved climbing trees and playing in the dirt.

15. I worked at Quiznoes once. For two days.

14. I hate raw tomatoes but I love V8 juice.

13. I have an extremely short last name.

12. I'm actually a published writer. :)

11. Photojojo featured one of my photos here

10. My favorite names: Pippa, Caedmon, Jude, Caroline, Alice, Cynthanie, Jessica, Crispin, Antony.

9. This is about the...6th blog that I've had.

8. Robert Frost is my favorite poet.

7. I have a great love for the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. The farm where she wrote the books is quite close to my hometown.

6. I love the Ozarks.

5. .I've never been to Disney World.

4. I really love the Outer Banks. It's near where my mom grew up...it's just splendid.

3. I went on a mission trip to Panama four years ago. It was life changing, and I desperately miss it.

2. I'm a Free Will Baptist. We partake in the washing of the saints' feet. It's a beautiful experience.

1. I am defined by my imperfections.




Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Kitties


Confession: I'm a huge cat person. The majority of the people in my life hate cats. Hate them. But I absolutely adore them! This is my best friend's cat. His name is Encarnacion (taken from the movie Nacho Libre!) The piece of paper is shredded sheet music. Apparently cats love to play with music. Who knew?

Entering this in:

Monday, March 28, 2011

Flower-gathering

It was finally warm enough to go outside at take a few pictures of the beautiful flowering trees around my college campus! It's nearly April--warmth is finally here!








I'm thankful for the reminders of His love that can be found in the simplest things. Like in the way a ray of sunshine can hit something and completely transform it, wash it in warmth. It's beautiful.


I left you in the morning,
And in the morning glow,
You walked a way beside me
To make me sad to go.
Do you know me in the gloaming,
Gaunt and dusty gray with roaming?
Are you dumb because you know me not,
Or dumb because you know?

All for me? And not a question
For the faded flowers gay
That could take me from beside you
For the ages of a day?
They are yours, and be the measure
Of their worth for you to treasure,
The measure of the little while
That I've been long away.
Flower Gathering- Robert Frost

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Foreshadowing

I can’t think about what happened these past three years. When I find my mind moving in that direction, I shut it down. Focus intently upon something else. Something mundane. Anything but what happened.
If I think, then I’ll cry. If I cry, the tears won’t stop. And what good would that be? What good is a broken mess?

Wait, I already am a broken mess.

But in this brokenness I find Christ’s light. Cracked, bruised, broken: and yet His light continues to shine from every crack and crevice and scrape and hurt. This light is not mine; I’m merely the vessel by which His light shines out.

Back to my original thought. The point of all this. I’ve been running from my past for too long now. I greet a ghost every morning; shadows follow my footsteps. I catch glimpses here and there from the corner of my eye of what used to be, what could be, what I am, and who I desire to be.


The stealthy chase is ending. I’ve been caught.

I must face these problems with an unwavering resolve. My feet are firmly planted, my heart is racing, my arms are outstretched, and my eyes look Heavenward. I would collapse at any moment if Christ was not behind me steadying my trembling body.

You can’t run from past hurts forever. They will find you at your weakest, and you will be broken.
But that’s the beauty of it. In our brokenness we find Christ.

Spring Break

I realize that spring break ended over a week ago, and yes, I'm just now getting around to blogging about it. This past week back at school has been very hectic: full of tests and quizzes and sickness on my part. It really makes me long for another break, but I just keep reminding myself that there is only a month and a half left of this semester. I really can't believe that my first semester of college is nearly over. I feel so young and so old at the same time. It's an interesting concept: I'm expected to make adult decisions, but I'm really not an adult. I'm only nineteen. Thankfully, I have God and many godly actual adults to guide me and give me council.

But back to spring break. That was the whole purpose of this post, wasn't it?


I spent the first few days at home. I had the bright idea to go take pictures in a field with a banjo. Why? Frankly, I'm not sure. I got cut up by the grass and a bit muddy, but it was totally worth it. I wish I could fluently play the banjo. It's such a fun instrument.




It was nice to just be home! The next few days I spent at a minister's retreat. It wasn't the most exciting thing ever, but it was nice to get away and be on the lake. And I got to meet H. B. London from Focus on the Family. I must admit that was pretty cool. And the crazy thing is: it snowed. It was beautiful to watch those fat flakes fall from the sky. Thankfully, it warmed back up to nearly 80 degrees a couple days later.




I then spent the next few days at home again just resting. I was sick, so it was nice to just do nothing! My dad did take me out to a local trout farm for a fish dinner. We had fun taking pictures of each other along the way. And the fish was soooo good.






Spring break was a wonderful retreat. <3

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