Friday, January 31, 2014

you don't bring me flowers anymore

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I was having a crummy day earlier this week. I don't remember why now, exactly. I was probably upset at myself for the same old things. (Actually, it was probably because it was 15 degrees outside and I had to go grocery shopping.) I had joked on twitter that I was going to reward myself with tulips for actually unpacking my room (two weeks into the semester). As soon as I walked into Trader Joe's, I saw bunches of tulips on sale for $1.99. I wanted to buy ALL the tulips. And I decided: why shouldn't I buy myself some flowers? If I'm waiting around for a boy to bring me flowers I'm going to be waiting for a very long time. So I bought flowers. Because sometimes you have to love yourself. You have to say, "I'm sorry." I'm sorry for being so angry at myself for things I can't control. I'm sorry for not giving myself the same amount of grace I give to others. I'm sorry for not always taking care of myself.

So I bought them, arranged them (poorly), photographed them, and then ate an entire bag of carrots. The end. 


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Bethany - college senior portraits

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1. It was about twenty degrees out when Bethany and I ran out to take her senior pictures in front of the library. 2. Bethany kept laughing at me because I was being bossy and kept jumping up and down and clapping over how pretty the light was. (BUT SERIOUSLY! IT WAS SO PRETTY.) 3. I love dis chick. We were suitemates our sophomore year. And look at her now! All grown up, married, and graduating. I'm so thankful to call her one of my best friends. You're going to do such great things in life, Bethany! Rock that BA in English! :)


Friday, January 24, 2014

january hymn

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Here's what my face looks like these days. Yes, my hair really is getting that long. I'm growing it out to donate. That's the only thing that's kept me from chopping it off pixie short again. I asked Bethany to take a couple pictures of me after I finished up her senior session (in the twenty-degree weather, I might add. I guess that's what friends are for. ;) ) This building has so much significance for me. This is probably one of my school's last years in the historic Richland-West End neighborhood, so I've really made it a point to enjoy the neighborhood while I have the chance. It's absolutely gorgeous, even in the dead of winter.

One more minor update--I've been cast as the role of Sister Berthe in Welch's production of The Sound of Music. I'm reaaaaaally excited! This is another last for me. I've had a good run in our musicals here. It's going to be sad to leave.


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

around the bend

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Well. Here I am. My last full semester of undergrad. The past four years have been some of the hardest--and best--years of my life.

Today I am swallowing my disappointment. I still don't know exactly when I'll be graduating. August? December? Regardless, I can't walk until next May. Regardless, this is my last semester in the dorm as a full-time student.

My roommate is gone. Back to Michigan for a semester. These white cinder block walls don't seem quite so friendly anymore. This room feels too empty.

My health is falling apart. I recently found out the autoimmune disease I have is still attacking my body. My thyroid, iron, vitamin D, and B12 levels are all shot. I've been put on some pretty intense supplements. I've had to start a cleanse to give my immune system a break. No dairy, wheat, potatoes, sugar, caffeine, red meat/pork for me. Current status: hangry. 

I may not get to participate in the musical this year. It breaks my heart. I love musical theater so much. Being in the musical has always been the bright spot of the spring semester. I don't know what I'll do if I can't swing being in it. Probably cry a lot. 

But today I am celebrating.  For the first time in my life, I have hope for my health. The world is before me, fresh, clean, and new, like the cold, cleansing snow that falls in places much farther north than here. My friends continue to be the wonderful, supportive people they've always been. My family continues to show me unconditional love. The courses I'm taking this semester are going to be incredible.

There is always good with the bad.

Lately the Lord has been asking me, "How much do you trust me?" At times, I feel my answer is no more than an uncertain shrug. But it all comes down to this. My plans are useless. My own devices fail me, over, and over, and over. Do I trust Him? I have no choice but to. He has proven to be beyond faithful.


Monday, January 6, 2014

22 before 23

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I've been really bad at following through with these lists in years past. (See here and here.) Maybe they feel too much like resolutions since my birthday falls so close to the new year. Whatever the reason, I really do want to accomplish the things on my list this year. I want to be more intentional about it.

1. Graduate with my B.A. in English and Theological Studies.
2. Move out on my own.
3. Donate my hair. (It's almost long enough!)
4. Save up enough money to upgrade my camera.
5. Join a ministry that allows me to minister to others on a weekly basis.
6. Learn how to budget.
7. Take up rock-climbing.
8. Grow my photography business.
9. Learn how to knit or crochet.
10. Paint three new paintings.
11. Go camping with friends at least twice.
12. Read fifty books.
13. Write at least two short stories.
14. Read The Silmarillion. 
15.  Blog at least twice a month.
16. Take active steps to worry less.
17. Read through the entire Bible.
18. Do something nice for a friend at least once a week.
19. Write an encouraging note to my heroes.
20. Meet a celebrity. 
21. Do something out of my comfort zone.
22. Be a tourist in my own city.

Yes, I realize that some of these are repeats from years past (uncompleted ones, I might add). But I think that they're things really worth doing. I'm going to try to keep up on my progress throughout the year as far as this list is concerned.

Here's to making twenty-two my boldest, most passionate, most selfless year yet.
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Friday, January 3, 2014

blake + audrey | proposal

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Looking back at these pictures gives me goosebumps. I've known Audrey for about seven years, and Blake for five. We all attended the same college, and run around with the same group of friends. I count the two of them as some of the dearest people to me. Blake and Audrey starting dating Audrey's freshman year of school, and a few weeks ago, Blake finally popped the question in the most creative and awe-inspiring way.  I really don't think this proposal can be topped. 

Blake managed to keep Audrey out of student body chapel one day without her being suspicious (which is pretty crazy considering she's student body president!) He announced to the entire school that he was proposing that night. Everyone was invited, but everyone had to keep it a secret. We all gathered in the auditorium that night, while a couple of our friends managed to get her backstage under the guise of filming a video. Once she was in place, a video of Audrey's closest friends telling the story of her and Blake's relationship began to play. When the video was over, the screen was moved, and Audrey saw Blake. It was seriously the most magical moment I think I've ever photographed. They were both so excited. Not only had Blake kept it a surprise, the entire student body had, too.

Guys, I'm so thankful for your friendship. I can't wait to see how the two of you serve the Lord together!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

i'm feeling 22

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Guys, I'm really sorry for the title, but I'll only get to use it once, so just indulge me here. ;) So. I turned twenty-two today. And I really only documented it with my phone, so my apologies for that as well. I had every intention of taking real photos, but it was so bone-chillingly cold that I couldn't bring myself to go outside and set up my all. It was a very laid-back day. I slept in, made iced coffee, watched Sherlock reruns, shopped for a bit at the mall, and had dinner with my sister. (My poor dad was sick. boo.) I'm going out with friends next week, so maybe I'll take real pictures then.

Here's to another year older and the family and friends who made this day special and memorable. 

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