leap-day ramblings

1. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. -John 1:4-5 I've been reading the book of John for my New Testament: Gospels and Acts class. It's always been my favorite Gospel, probably because of its theological nature. It doesn't just tell about the life of Jesus, it answers the question why. Why did He come? Why did He do the things He did? John seeks to answer these questions. As the disciple closest to Jesus--as well as writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit--I think John was equipped to answer those questions. I've read that verse many times, but it jumped out at me. Lately, darkness has permeated my life. There hasn't been much light to speak of. Depression has covered me, and I've been on the verge of despondence. After I read those verses, I realized I really don't possess a light of my own. I am just a vessel, my light is Christ's. Because I am His, the darkness cannot overcome me. It might feel suffocating. I might feel as though there is no way out, but it cannot beat me, because it cannot beat Christ. He has obliterated darkness. There is no shadow.

2. One of the things that has been fueling my depression is my health. I've been quite sick for a month now. The best they can figure, it's just a severe sinus infection. I'm on my third round of antibiotics. They finally ran some blood tests yesterday, so I'm waiting on the results from that. I've just been exhausted. Not the I-just-need-a-good-night's-rest kind of exhaustion, but the I just want to go to sleep and not wake up because living is too hard like this kind. We have mid-terms this week, but then we're on Spring Break, so I can sleep all I want to. Thank goodness.

3. I had a long talk tonight with two friends who have both lost a parent to illness. It was interesting to compare our experiences, and see how each of us is in a different stage of the grieving process. I've been missing my mom a lot lately, so it was good to just talk it out. I thank God for giving me that conversation.

4. A couple other bits of encouragement that God has sent my way...someone told my dad the other day that I have an indomitable spirit. I was having a bit of a breakdown that day, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I just felt the need to mark that down, because it's likely I'll forget that word and compliment.

5. I'm also very sad to hear about Davy Jones' death. I've always been a huge fan of The Monkees. My mom and I used to sing their songs together. If you get the chance, listen to "Last Train to Clarksville." It's by far my favorite song. 

6. Pray for the residents of southwest Missouri (where I'm originally from) especially those that live in Branson and Lebanon (I used to live there...) They were hit pretty hard by tornadoes last night. There have been casualties and the damage is pretty bad.

xo,
Katy