A Happy September

My mom is second on the left, in the striped dress.

I just wanted to share this beautiful photo I found of my mom, from her sophomore year of college. This is an officer picture from the Rossetti society. She was secretary.

The great thing? I'm a sophomore, as well as Rossetti chaplain.

People also say we look alike.

I miss her tonight. :)

September was the last happy month she and I had together.

This is a very choppy post. I apologize. It's almost midnight.

xo,
Katy

Snap and Share- Bokeh

I know...I'm posting. Again. 

Which is surprising, considering how busy this day has been. anyway...

 I just had to enter this photo in Snap and Share.




The theme is bokeh, which is one of my all time favorite photography techniques!

xo,
Katy

Music Monday- What I'm Playing

I've decided to share music I currently love on Monday. Because, 1: music and Monday make for nice alliteration, and 2: Mondays are bad. Music is awesome. Therefore, music makes Mondays better.

Get all that? Good.

This week I have something special to share with you. These are the two songs that I will be learning for my music jury at the end of this semester. First up, a piece by Debussy.






Next up is my absolute favorite Rachmaninoff piece that I'll be learning



I'm excited about learning these pieces. The past week, I've mostly focused on the Rachmaninoff piece, since it is the most technically difficult. Although Debussy can be hard to play. (Impressionists...ya know.)

Also, I'm sorry for the total lack of photos. Things have been a total crazytrain with rush coming up! I'll have some soon. :)

xo,
Katy

Just Words

We avoided destruction and saved our hearts.
Our wildly beating, savage hearts.
Connected by a silver thread
Stretch taught over miles
That I have driven in anger and in peace.
Searching for you in the clouds above and the asphalt below.

You held me close as I saw death.
Not yet eighteen but I’d seen the world.
You threw light on my shadows
And opened the windows.
You couldn’t chase the rain away,
But you held my umbrella and my hand. 


***


For years I tried to be the best
Practice, practice; never rest
I thought I'd gained the upper hand
But here you are, you're back again.

We pushed each other to be the best
Though you do not owe me your success,
You came there by your own accord.
Your skill is what I'm working toward.

So yeah, I like to ramble

Please excuse the rambling nature of this post. I'm just in one of those moods.

It feels good to be getting back into the swing of things at school! I'm really enjoying my classes so far. Conducting, Aural Theory, Music Theory I, History of Ancient Civilizations, Lifetime Fitness, New Testament: Epistles and Revelation, Chapel Choir, Choral Union, Handbells, and Private Piano. Believe it or not, all of those classes only total up to sixteen hours, because most music classes only count as one credit hour. (even though classes like private piano require five hours of practice a week outside of lessons) We are also required to attend chapel five days a week, and have to complete one hour of Christian service each week. But honestly? I love it all. I love being busy. I've never been one to just sit still.

The past few days have been a whirlwind between classes, working out, sonic/target/mckays trips, opening services, getting reconnected with old friends, and making new ones.

The more I study, the more excited I get about what God has planned for my future. I'm currently a Church Music major, but at semester I'm probably changing to English with a minor in Music (and a possible minor in missions.) I know God wants me in creative access missions, and I am so incredibly excited. I just have such a peace about it, and I know that I could not be happy doing anything else.

I'd also love to post pictures of my dorm room, but it's kind of a mess. My plan is to finish organizing/put finishing touches on it sometime this week.

For some reason, the above photo was printed off and laying in the 3rd floor lounge of my dorm. Apparently, it was there all summer. Creepy much?

Goodnight!

xo,
Katy

It's Alright

1. I really dislike just sitting in my dorm room. I feel like an antisocial loser with no life.
2. In reference to that, I need more friends, especially girlfriends.
3. Classes start tomorrow.
4. My room really isn't organized yet. Blah.
5. I'm really thirsty. Maybe I should run to target/starbucks. 
6. I miss Tyler. Like, a lot.
7. I also miss my dad.
8. As much as I love college...it's just hard sometimes. 
9. However, the Lord is incredible, and I know He has a plan.
10. I just need to be more trusting. And open.

Off I Go

I am (almost) packed. While it's hard to believe that summer is over, it really doesn't seem like I should be starting my sophomore year of college. (Or that I will be twenty in a few short months. Weird.)

I'm so ready to be back here:

As excited as I am, I'm also very nervous. I was sick most of last year, which left me isolated and lonely. I had good friends, but I could never really hang out with anyone, because most of the time, I felt like crap. I'm not feeling well going into this year, either. I'm very hypothyroid at the moment (my thyroid doc said that I really shouldn't be up walking around...) so your prayers are appreciated. God has given me the strength so far, and I have to give Him praise for that. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for Him. :)

It's also bitter-sweet because my dad has taken one of the VP jobs at the college I attend, so he'll be moving down to Tennessee in January. So really, this is my last night living in Missouri. I love this state and all the people here!

I hope you all have fantastic weekends. :)

xo,
Katy

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Fact: taking pictures with glitter is difficult. Especially when:
1. The lighting is weird. (It seriously just took me five tries to get the word lighting spelled right.)
2. It's just you, your tripod, and a remote.
2. The ten year old kid that lives nearby runs behind your shot and yells "SORRY!"

I mean, the neighbors already think I'm crazy.

So, yeah.


These pictures were in order because: I found out today that I do not have a brain tumor! There is much happiness here in my heart, and a ginormous weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The doc said that I do have a slight handicap because of my hearing loss, but at this point, I don't care!  I am tumor-free! And nothing says c-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-i-o-n like glitter, right? Right?



I make weird faces.

Oh, I also gave in and bought a Kindle today. I love it so far! :)

Thank you all SO MUCH for your prayers!
xo,
Katy

Photo Challenge

Linking this up at Little Somethings!

Vacation really was fantastic this year. I love the Outer Banks. :)

xo,
Katy

Rainy Day Survey

I had planned on cleaning out my car today. I'm a lazy bum and never completely unpacked my car when I came home for the summer. Sadly, (or rather, fortunately) it's pouring down rain today. It's dreary, it's cool (65 degrees! yeah!) and it feels like fall. I am in love! It's the perfect day for sipping sweet tea, reading a good book, and (unfortunately) doing laundry.

It's also a really good day for eating frozen strawberry cheesecake. Um, but what day isn't? I digress.

I thought it would be fun to do a little A-Z survey which I found on this lovely blog. (Who remembers--back in the day--filling out surveys and posting them in myspace bulletins? Just me? Okay...)

So, hold tight. This could either be really fun or really boring. 

A. age:: nineteen!                                                          

B. bed size :: twin. Welcome to college life.

C. chore you hate ::Taking out the trash. It's so germy and smelly.

D. dogs :: I used to have a sweet dog named Lucky. He's gone, now. Hopefully on a nice farm somewhere.

E. essential start to your day :: prayer and sweet green tea!

F. favorite color ::green and blue.

G. gold or silver :: oh, i'm a silver girl!

H. height :: nearly 5'5". I'm a short one.

I. instruments you play :: Piano! I've played for nearly 14 years.

J. job title :: student, nanny, photographer, writer, artist, dreamer

K. kids ::Not for a long while!

L. live :: middle Tennessee, southwest Missouri. Soon to be Tennessee full time!

M. maiden name :: I'd rather not divulge my last name. It's short and lends itself to many nicknames.

N. nicknames :: Oh look...nicknames. Katy, Kat, Kate, Katybug, Katydid, Katykat, Cheeto. (Not because the hue of my skin resembles the crunchy snack. It's because I really, really like cheese.)

O. overnight hospital stays :: Never as a patient. I have, however, spent more nights in a waiting room than I even care to recall.

P. pet peeve :: rudeness.

Q. quote :: "I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light." - John Keith Falconer

R. righty or lefty :: righty!

S. siblings :: an older sister and brother, and a lovely sis-in-law

T. time you wake up :: This coming year I'll be up at 7 most days.

U. university attended :: Free Will Baptist Bible College

V. vegetables you dislike: peas make me want to gag.

W. what makes you run late :: I'm a piddler.

X. x-rays you’ve had :: I've lost count at this point!

Y. yummy food ::mexican, biscuits and gravy, grilled cheese, macaroni and cheese, bacon.

Z. zoo animal favorite :: the huge cats, penguins, and owls!

Sing it Out

You should know: I am a music addict. (This should not be surprising considering I am currently a church music major.) ahem, anyway, here are a few songs I've been addicted to lately. I could probably make a playlist but using youtube videos is more fun.

First up: Breaker, Breaker by Peter Bjorn and John.



This song is pretty old, but I love it. (Dark Blue - Jack's Mannequin)


(you should definitely look up the official music video. Unfortunately, it can't be embedded.)

I'm pretty sure everyone is super excited about this song. (Up All Night - Blink-182)



Cutest song ever. (Anything for You- Ludo)



This next song pretty much describes my life. Please note that some imagery in the video may be disturbing to sensitive viewers. (I Never Liked Anyone and I'm Afraid of People - Showbread)




Emery is one of my favorite hardcore/screamo bands. Their new record is fantastic. (The Cheval Glass- Emery)



And this is by far my favorite Mumford and Sons' song. (Roll Away Your Stone- Mumford & Sons)



I've been obsessed with Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows for a few months now. I saw them live back in the spring and it was incredible. Also, please note that they have a parental advisory on their music for a reason. This song, however, is pretty clean. And catchy. (I'm Here To Take the Sky - D.R.U.G.S.)



I'll leave you with this. (Fire and Rain - James Taylor)


xo,
Katy

Today

Yesterday, I complained. I was upset, and ugly, and rude. I worried and I panicked.

Today, today will be different. I will pray unceasingly about the things that are bothering me. I will let myself be optimistic.  I will embrace whatever the uncertain future may hold. I will make sure that you know you are loved: that I truly and honestly love you; that I do appreciate everything you do for me. Today, today I will be nice. I will finish packing and I will take out the trash. I will be understanding when you can't text me back. I won't be lonely or scared. I will take a walk and eat macaroni. I will let myself grieve, and I will make sure that I laugh at least once. I will find reasons to smile.

Today, today I will love and be loved. I will live a life worthy of love, of grace. I will stop being a hermit and attempt fellowship with my fellow Christians. I've been silent far too long.

I will let God change my heart.

xo,
Katy

ch-ch-ch-changes?

my time here
has been quite dear
but the sound
of the tolling bell
is near.

i'll creep away
leave this lonely place
behind,
turn my back
against the westward sun.


For those of you who haven't experienced college yet: it's really, really stressful. And I'm not even there yet. I leave in a week, and I only have one day this week that I can work on packing. Can you say freak out!? I just know I'm going to leave something really important behind. Happens every time. I probably should have worked on packing today...instead I watched The Fellowship of the Ring (um, as much as I love the movie, they changed so much from the book. No Old Forrest, no Barrow-wights. I understand they have to change things for the movies, but they literally left half of The Return of the King out. Regardless, they do remain my favorite books and my favorite movies.) I also went with my dad to test drive a '99 Camaro convertible. It was pretty slick, despite being twelve years old.

Oh, and I dyed my hair.

Ignore the awkward face, the awkward way I'm holding my phone, and the awkward length of my hair. I'm not a fan of the color right now. It's pretty close to my natural color, and honestly, it's a little boring for me. Unfortunately,  my thyroid currently hates me, and my hair is falling out. Which means I have to lay off the blonde for a while. I'd rather have brown hair than no hair! And as far as the awkward length is concerned, I'm getting my hair cut next week. Thank goodness. I'm starting to look like Justin Bieber, which is just awkward.

Also, I'm considering buying a Kindle. Does anyone have one? Would you recommend one? I love to read, and I think this would cut down on the cost of books...but it doesn't seem to have the charm that a physical book has. I have a vision in my head of some day having a room full of books...I'm afraid this might cause that dream to turn to dust. Haha. I've been scoping out my dad's Kindle, though, and it is pretty tempting.

xo,
Katy

Amigos

Tonight, I got to spend time with my long-lost best friend, Mikaela. Our moms were best friends when they were pregnant with us, and we've been friends ever since. :) Two years ago, we walked around the lake near her house and took pictures. Nearly two years later, we decided to do the same thing. We both leave for college soon, so it was good to finally catch up with each other. It's fun to see how we've changed.

And now, for the new photos!

 

We talked more than we took pictures, which is just how it should be. We went back to her house, ate burritos, and watched True Jackson VP. (Guilty pleasure.) Also, please note that Mikaela is wearing heels. We're actually the same height. :)

xo,

Katy

Coffee in the Morning

I would wake up. The house would be nearly silent--the only noise the slight hum of the a/c. I'd groggily slip from my bed and peek in to my parent's room. Dad was long gone to work, and mom was curled up in a ball on the left side of the bed, her dialysis machine still chugging along. Sometimes I would leap on to the bed and scare her awake, other times I'd carefully shake her shoulder and kiss her smooth cheek. I almost hated waking her up, because I knew she'd been up most of the night with some awful ache or pain that medicine could not dull. Most days, I'd let her sleep until ten or so. Her eyes would slowly open and she'd smile at me. I'd lay there and hold her hand until her dialysis machine was done. She'd shuffle into the kitchen and make some coffee.

I miss the smell of coffee.

Now, I wake up. The house is quiet and dad is long gone to work. But it's just me. Me, my thoughts, and I. No smiles, no good mornings. I only smell coffee if I make it myself.

 I don't know. Sometimes it feels so cruel that I had to lose my mom at the age of sixteen. I long for her warm smile and sound advice. Her willingness to point me to the Lord. But I know that it would be even crueler to ask for her back. Who am I to wish her down from Heaven to this awful place? She was suffering, and now she is whole.

But, boy, do I miss her.

I'm really only writing this because there's no one to talk to, and honestly, I'm a little lonely.

xo,
Katy

Wave Goodbye

It's hard to believe that summer is almost over. Like the fading light of the sunset, it's leaving slowly, making room for fall. Part of me is almost sad to see it go, but the other part is absolutely overjoyed. I love fall. I love the richly colored leaves, the cool wind on my neck, cozy sweaters, and apple cider. Until then, though, I will enjoy these final hours of summer. My evening walks past a little glade that could easily be mistaken for the Shire, bathed in warm yellow light. Road trips with my dad discussing everything from cows and farming to politics. Root beer floats, swimming in the rain, and pop-up thunderstorms.

My last week and a half of summer will be spent packing for college. It's hard to believe that my sophomore year is upon me. I'm really hoping that this will be a good year. My freshman year was not kind to me, not in the least bit. That's why this summer has been so precious to me. I've basically used it to recharge and recover. It hasn't been perfect, but I can finally feel the dark cloud of depression slowly departing from my mind. I think that will make a huge difference this year. At least, I hope it does.

It's going to be a busy, busy year. I'm taking 16 hours this semester (and most of those are one hour classes. Save me, now.) I'm photo editor of the year book, and my society chaplain. (Get 'em, Rossetti!) I also have to find a job, which will most likely prove to be the hardest thing I do all semester. I can't work food service. (Been there, done that.) And I don't know that I'm peppy or happy enough to work retail. (Although I can organize like a boss.) So that leaves me with...what? We'll see what I find. But unless I want to be an even poorer college student than I already am, I need a job.

So, anyway, enjoy these last days of summer. Our 100+ degree weather has finally been broken. (It was seriously in the 60s on Monday.) It's still humid, but it's actually possible to go outside and not melt. I know I'm going to enjoy it.

xo,
Katy

A Bit of Vagueness

Things I Currently Do Not Understand:

• Why I even bother capitalizing everything in a title anymore.
• Why I am still awake. Need sleep.
• Why I'm starving.
• Why I chopped my hair off/why I want to dye my hair dark again.
• Why I'm slightly dreading going back to college.
• Why God is letting me go through this. (It's really not my place to ask why. I need to be asking how.)
• Why the people I'm closest to have to live so far away from me.

I don't know why I'm still awake. I'm really not even sure why I'm writing this. I suppose I'm trying to identify what emotion it is that I'm feeling right now. Everything in my life is so uncertain. I feel like everything hinges on August 18th. Whatever happens, I know that it is all part of God's plan. Nothing takes God by surprise. He's asking me to trust Him completely; to have blind faith. And it's hard, because I like to be in control.

I'm also tired of constantly using the the word I. I'm tired of it being about me. I'm tired of being conceited. I want to care more about you. More about him. More about her, we, them, it. Basically, I'm sick of myself and I'm tired of focusing on my own problems. I've found that when I make things about Christ, life is so much brighter, things are more in focus. It's hard to die to self, but it's something I have to work on if I want to do anything for Christ. It's a daily battle.

I need to sleep.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. -Psalm 4:8

A Photo Date

I had such a good weekend at Ty's. We honestly didn't do much of anything. We mostly watched History channel, played games, and ate food. (These are three things we excel at.) But I did convince him that we needed to take some new pictures, since all the really good ones of us together were getting pretty old. We decided to take some this morning so it would be cooler out. Unfortunately: it was raining, I forgot my tripod, and my shutter remote still needs a new battery. So Ty, his sister, and I went to the park and did the best we could. I even convinced his sister to take a few of us. (She took all the bridge pictures.)





















Tyler picked out quite a few of the poses. I love it when he gets excited and has ideas for photos.

It was a lovely weekend, spent with good friends and Ty. It is, however, good to be back home!

xo,
Katy

Miscellany

Miscellany is such a funny word. This may be due to the fact that I am up way too early. I think I'll write a list.

1. I'm at my boyfriend's this weekend. (And there was much rejoicing!) It's the last time we'll see each other before we both head off to college. Thankfully, we'll only be two hours apart, which is the closest we've ever been. The problem is, we both have crazy busy schedules next semester. Oh well. The plan is to take lots of pictures this weekend. (I doubt that will happen, though. We both get lazy.)

2. I had my MRI on Wednesday. Honestly? It was the worst experience of my life thus far. I'm extremely claustrophobic. I also have bad anxiety, so it was not pleasant. I don't care that I'm nineteen, I bawled my eyes out. Thankfully, God gave me the strength to get through it. The hard part now is waiting on test results, which I won't have for another two weeks.

3. Some of you have asked for my Instagram name, and I've decided to share it as long as you don't laugh, okay? It's Narniagirl4JC. (That's the name I've been using online for years now. I can't just stop using it, however lame it might be.)

My favorite book. I'm currently reading it again. <3

Owling is the new planking.

4. I ordered new TOMS. They came in a few hours after I left to come to Tyler's. Bummer!

I think that's it for now. ;)

xo,
Katy

French Fries

I made this today while taking a break from cleaning. It's one of my favorite sayings! I'm probably going to have this printed and hang it on my dorm room wall when I go back to school in three weeks.

xo,
Katy