Sometimes, I wonder if love still exists.
Because lately, I haven't seen love played out in the relationships around me. Couples that I thought would make if have ended in bitterness. Marriages that I thought were solid have completely and utterly crumbled. Love has been replaced with lust; commitment with flippancy; respect with disdain.
We've been told to keep our hearts locked inside our chest, all the while masquerading as if we are vulnerable enough to hand away the key. What was it that C.S. Lewis said? "To love is to be vulnerable?" No one really believes in that anymore, not really. Love is now selfishness. Relationships are not based on what the other person can gain--but what you, yourself, can get out of the other person. It's sickening, really.
I might give up on love. I say I might because I have been fortunate to witness solid relationships--which are all but rare anymore. One example? My parents. Their relationship put their marriage vows to the test. For richer or poorer? Check. In sickness and in health? Check. 'Til death do us part? Check. When there wasn't enough money to pay the bills, when my mom was so sick she could not lift her head, when she lay, despondent, on her deathbed-- she and my father still loved each other. They were faithful until the end.
I see the relationship between my boyfriend and I growing into that. True love takes time, and we are well on our way. The happiness of the other person has become our priority. I do love him.
Oh, and what about our relationship with God? We are unfaithful, catty, whiney, and sinful. Yet He continues to love us with a never-ending love that surpasses anything we can know or feel. He does not need us, but He wants us. It's incredible.
So, I refuse to give up on love. It is real. It does still exist. All of this perversion of love in our society does not make me despair, no, it makes me determined. Determined to make my own relationship with Christ, my boyfriend, and my friends what it should be.