Amigos

Tonight, I got to spend time with my long-lost best friend, Mikaela. Our moms were best friends when they were pregnant with us, and we've been friends ever since. :) Two years ago, we walked around the lake near her house and took pictures. Nearly two years later, we decided to do the same thing. We both leave for college soon, so it was good to finally catch up with each other. It's fun to see how we've changed.

And now, for the new photos!

 

We talked more than we took pictures, which is just how it should be. We went back to her house, ate burritos, and watched True Jackson VP. (Guilty pleasure.) Also, please note that Mikaela is wearing heels. We're actually the same height. :)

xo,

Katy

Coffee in the Morning

I would wake up. The house would be nearly silent--the only noise the slight hum of the a/c. I'd groggily slip from my bed and peek in to my parent's room. Dad was long gone to work, and mom was curled up in a ball on the left side of the bed, her dialysis machine still chugging along. Sometimes I would leap on to the bed and scare her awake, other times I'd carefully shake her shoulder and kiss her smooth cheek. I almost hated waking her up, because I knew she'd been up most of the night with some awful ache or pain that medicine could not dull. Most days, I'd let her sleep until ten or so. Her eyes would slowly open and she'd smile at me. I'd lay there and hold her hand until her dialysis machine was done. She'd shuffle into the kitchen and make some coffee.

I miss the smell of coffee.

Now, I wake up. The house is quiet and dad is long gone to work. But it's just me. Me, my thoughts, and I. No smiles, no good mornings. I only smell coffee if I make it myself.

 I don't know. Sometimes it feels so cruel that I had to lose my mom at the age of sixteen. I long for her warm smile and sound advice. Her willingness to point me to the Lord. But I know that it would be even crueler to ask for her back. Who am I to wish her down from Heaven to this awful place? She was suffering, and now she is whole.

But, boy, do I miss her.

I'm really only writing this because there's no one to talk to, and honestly, I'm a little lonely.

xo,
Katy

Wave Goodbye

It's hard to believe that summer is almost over. Like the fading light of the sunset, it's leaving slowly, making room for fall. Part of me is almost sad to see it go, but the other part is absolutely overjoyed. I love fall. I love the richly colored leaves, the cool wind on my neck, cozy sweaters, and apple cider. Until then, though, I will enjoy these final hours of summer. My evening walks past a little glade that could easily be mistaken for the Shire, bathed in warm yellow light. Road trips with my dad discussing everything from cows and farming to politics. Root beer floats, swimming in the rain, and pop-up thunderstorms.

My last week and a half of summer will be spent packing for college. It's hard to believe that my sophomore year is upon me. I'm really hoping that this will be a good year. My freshman year was not kind to me, not in the least bit. That's why this summer has been so precious to me. I've basically used it to recharge and recover. It hasn't been perfect, but I can finally feel the dark cloud of depression slowly departing from my mind. I think that will make a huge difference this year. At least, I hope it does.

It's going to be a busy, busy year. I'm taking 16 hours this semester (and most of those are one hour classes. Save me, now.) I'm photo editor of the year book, and my society chaplain. (Get 'em, Rossetti!) I also have to find a job, which will most likely prove to be the hardest thing I do all semester. I can't work food service. (Been there, done that.) And I don't know that I'm peppy or happy enough to work retail. (Although I can organize like a boss.) So that leaves me with...what? We'll see what I find. But unless I want to be an even poorer college student than I already am, I need a job.

So, anyway, enjoy these last days of summer. Our 100+ degree weather has finally been broken. (It was seriously in the 60s on Monday.) It's still humid, but it's actually possible to go outside and not melt. I know I'm going to enjoy it.

xo,
Katy

A Bit of Vagueness

Things I Currently Do Not Understand:

• Why I even bother capitalizing everything in a title anymore.
• Why I am still awake. Need sleep.
• Why I'm starving.
• Why I chopped my hair off/why I want to dye my hair dark again.
• Why I'm slightly dreading going back to college.
• Why God is letting me go through this. (It's really not my place to ask why. I need to be asking how.)
• Why the people I'm closest to have to live so far away from me.

I don't know why I'm still awake. I'm really not even sure why I'm writing this. I suppose I'm trying to identify what emotion it is that I'm feeling right now. Everything in my life is so uncertain. I feel like everything hinges on August 18th. Whatever happens, I know that it is all part of God's plan. Nothing takes God by surprise. He's asking me to trust Him completely; to have blind faith. And it's hard, because I like to be in control.

I'm also tired of constantly using the the word I. I'm tired of it being about me. I'm tired of being conceited. I want to care more about you. More about him. More about her, we, them, it. Basically, I'm sick of myself and I'm tired of focusing on my own problems. I've found that when I make things about Christ, life is so much brighter, things are more in focus. It's hard to die to self, but it's something I have to work on if I want to do anything for Christ. It's a daily battle.

I need to sleep.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. -Psalm 4:8

A Photo Date

I had such a good weekend at Ty's. We honestly didn't do much of anything. We mostly watched History channel, played games, and ate food. (These are three things we excel at.) But I did convince him that we needed to take some new pictures, since all the really good ones of us together were getting pretty old. We decided to take some this morning so it would be cooler out. Unfortunately: it was raining, I forgot my tripod, and my shutter remote still needs a new battery. So Ty, his sister, and I went to the park and did the best we could. I even convinced his sister to take a few of us. (She took all the bridge pictures.)





















Tyler picked out quite a few of the poses. I love it when he gets excited and has ideas for photos.

It was a lovely weekend, spent with good friends and Ty. It is, however, good to be back home!

xo,
Katy

Miscellany

Miscellany is such a funny word. This may be due to the fact that I am up way too early. I think I'll write a list.

1. I'm at my boyfriend's this weekend. (And there was much rejoicing!) It's the last time we'll see each other before we both head off to college. Thankfully, we'll only be two hours apart, which is the closest we've ever been. The problem is, we both have crazy busy schedules next semester. Oh well. The plan is to take lots of pictures this weekend. (I doubt that will happen, though. We both get lazy.)

2. I had my MRI on Wednesday. Honestly? It was the worst experience of my life thus far. I'm extremely claustrophobic. I also have bad anxiety, so it was not pleasant. I don't care that I'm nineteen, I bawled my eyes out. Thankfully, God gave me the strength to get through it. The hard part now is waiting on test results, which I won't have for another two weeks.

3. Some of you have asked for my Instagram name, and I've decided to share it as long as you don't laugh, okay? It's Narniagirl4JC. (That's the name I've been using online for years now. I can't just stop using it, however lame it might be.)

My favorite book. I'm currently reading it again. <3

Owling is the new planking.

4. I ordered new TOMS. They came in a few hours after I left to come to Tyler's. Bummer!

I think that's it for now. ;)

xo,
Katy

French Fries

I made this today while taking a break from cleaning. It's one of my favorite sayings! I'm probably going to have this printed and hang it on my dorm room wall when I go back to school in three weeks.

xo,
Katy